Wednesday, 4 May 2011

My ideal work uniform in a parallel universe

I have written before about 'uniforms', minimal wardrobes and practical dressing but as I potentially move into a job where I will be wearing an actual uniform, five days a week, I feel the need to distract myself from thoughts of polyester trousers, day-glo and teflon. To humour myself therefore, I have picked out my ideal summer uniform for patrolling the streets (note that I have said patrol, as opposed to walk, I managed to disconcert my mum by informing her I would shortly be walking the streets and it was much better paid than my current position).

First of all I would need a practical pair of heels for stomping my beat. Heels are essential, to give one a sense of power and authority and I would pick a wedge for maximum height and comfort. The weight of a wedge is also useful, as if you have powerful enough legs to lift them to testicle height at high speed (and my calf muscles are of wrestler proportions), they can be useful weapon when your authority is being questioned. These neon accented KG by Kurt Geiger wedges in animal print are an amazing statement and tick all the high-vis safety boxes while being perfect for the Urban Jungle...

 I have also recently been experiencing a delayed reaction crush on the jumpsuit. Now my one year old is whizzing around on his walker, the need for light and feminine attire that doesn't expose my knickers while battling the wind and racing around the park has meant I finally accept the the place of the jumpsuit in a practical wardrobe. A utilitarian style tailored jumpsuit would be also be perfect for my new job, belt loops and pockets being ideal for storage of pens, notebooks and other useful implements (sunglasses?). This version by Reiss looks decidedly Met Police Chic.

Now, although this is my ideal summer uniform, the British weather is notoriously unpredictable, therefore a light and practical cover up is essential. I am veering towards this highlighter bright Vanesso Bruno jacket, just for it's ability to inform the public I am there on the street.

I feel that for any officer on the street, a pair of standard issue aviators is essential. How else can you hide the fear in your eyes, as well as protect them from relentless sun exposure and potential missiles. This mirrored pair from Urban Outfitters are ideal for reflecting confused glances and aggression.

That was fun, now I must find something else to do to distract me from the thoughts of poloshirts and embroidered logos- yeuch!

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